I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
