I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
