I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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