the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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