Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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