yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
