matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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