hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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