I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
