You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
