I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
