oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
