would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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