so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
