You can't motorboat a personality
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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