I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
