i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
