I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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