Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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