I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
