i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Vodka?
Forever.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
