marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Randomize
