I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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