There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
