So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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