Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
