I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
