My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
my liver is dry heaving
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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