Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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