Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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