I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
