bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
