I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
