I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
