shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
