I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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