yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
