Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
