But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
