Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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