I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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