Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize