I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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