...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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