Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
