Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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