i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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