If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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