i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
ok first of all what the fuck
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
