Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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