youre lurking in front of me
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
