I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
is wine microwaveable?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize