I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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