can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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