im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
