It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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