My friends, they love my intelligence
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize