apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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