I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
