So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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