well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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