If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
