Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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